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Car Park Theft- the Land is Ours, (unless you’re a multi-millionaire tax-exile football club owner)

July 1, 2010

Smug Landowner and his cronies think they can just make a few revisions to a shite Tesco Hypermarket application and ‘yabadabadoo me got me my Sainsbury Hypermarket, ya bunch of suckers. Looosers!’

See, what they think us plebs don’t get is that they want to build the monster hypermarket AND filling station on a large chunk of land THAT IS NOT THEIRS.

Don’t own it, are not the landlords of it, don’t possess the deeds to it, haven’t been given it……

old car park becomes filling station and entrance

Entrance and filling station to proposed Monster, er...

Hang on a minute-would any right thinking very rich tax-exile spend six figure sums on trying to build something on some land that belongs to someone else? Imagine Lansdowner going into the Dragons Den with his proposal….” and I need a £20 million investment from each of you…”

“Look here boy-you mean you want me to invest my money on building this Monster on land which you don’t own and having got the copyright to? The doors over there behind you, waster”

Landowner being quite rich and good with money must have twigged on this, unless sidekick Colin the Horse was keeping him in the dark.

“Awright Guv, no worries, I’ll git that land for ya, na worries, or my names not Horseshit”

The land in question is of course owned by the people of Bristol, the open secret that council chiefs were keeping quiet about. Question now is what dodgy deals have gone on behind closed doors in City  Hall with the land owned by the people of Bristol. Because only an idiot would spend years planning and spending six figure sums of cash on trying to build a Hypermarket on private land owned by the people of Bristol unless the owners had given them the nod. As a citizen of Bristol I distinctly don’t remember giving the nod, or being asked if I want to give the nod.

What has gone on between our beloved leader Jan Android and Colin the Horse? She was drooling over his every word during the new stadium hearing. What about Dave the Bishop (official role-City Development, you couldn’t make that up) any deals going on son? Simon Crook-you must be in on this me old china?

I would not for one second  suggest anything illegal or untoward has taken place behind the scenes-I can’t afford the liable lawyers.  In any case I’m too busy writing my application for a Pound shop on that scrap car park in front of Buckingham Palace.  We’re all in it together and Mrs Windsor like Bristol Council may be in need of a very large brown envelope.

And there is one pet council project running late and vastly over budget due to open next year that might benefit from a large anonymous donation:

Behold: The Museum of Bristol (City)

new museum of bristol

Museum of Bristol 'M-shed' is revealed

  1. The Bristolian permalink
    July 3, 2010 4:24 pm

    Last summer Steve Lansdown was seen one evening in early August on the steps of the City Museum with a party of 5 or 6 being whisked into the Banksy exhibition ahead of any queues …

    And The Bristolian can also reveal that there was a special viewing of the Banksy show at the City Museum & Art Gallery on 27 July 2009 especially for potential funders and advocates of the delayed and over-budget Museum of Bristol.

  2. July 4, 2010 12:39 am

    Question is how much is the ‘car park’ worth if it gets planning consent for change of use and becomes the entrance and filling station of the Monster Hypermarket? And do I want to sell it?

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