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Bedminster Chronicles. Book 1. chapter ii : Ye Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth.

July 24, 2010

And it came to pass after these things that the Landsdownites did spake before the high Priests in the House of the Bristoleans. They did offer unto the Gods theirin a Monstrous Shoppe and a multitude of riches from the Temple of The Sainsburyonites; Gold, silver, iron, cornflakes, sliced bread and ye two for one deal. They did offer ye Jobbes a plenty who Filleth of ye shelves and money change ye Till. And they did offer the high Priests ye comparison goods such as Wives, Concubines, and ye Fridge to store Thatchers vessels in readiness to drank and praise the decision of the high Priests.

But their countenance changed as the high Priests saw through their multitude of proferences. And they said Nay, and they did cast out the Temple of the Sainsburyonites. Yea, thou must keepeth  the grass ye wild asses and oxen playeth ye footy on, thus spake the High priests of the Bristoleans.

And in the same hour their knees smote one against another and much wailing and gnashing of teeth befell the Lansdownites and Sainsburyonites. Even unto the scribes of the Evening Lost who did wasteth much ink on the whinging, verily as the pages amount to seven.

The Gnashing of Teeth was like the horns of Vuvuzela. And the dental hospital did readiness become and ye dentalites were in awe of the much Gnashed Teeth, for verily they Gnashed and wailed for three score days.

And then was the people exceeding glad for they had been delivered of the false Temple of the Sainsburyonites.


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