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Royal Wedding : Bristol Souvenir Invitation

April 24, 2011

The Lord Chamberpot is commanded by Bristol City Council to invite

Mr Sacred Spring

to the marriage of

His Royal Highness Prince Stephen Lansdowne of Guernsey Plc


Miss Sainsbury-Monster

at Ashton Gate

Friday 29th April, 2011 at 11.00 a.m.

A reply is requested to :

State Stitch-up and Dodgy Dealing Secretary, The Council Chamberpot Office                                   

College Green Palace, Bristol

Dress: red or orange polyester shirt penguin suit, with logo.

Gift List

Big Council Car Park


Green belt

Propaganda from Bristol Evening Lost

Change of planning committee at the last minute

Appeals and unlimited new applications

Town Green

World Cup 2099


Former tip Compote with Butchered Hedgerow

Job pork pies with Chunks of Greenbelt, Winterstoke Bangers and Mashed Town Greens

Guernsey Rhubarb Fool with Sexton Pudding.

A reply is requested


  1. Richard Lane permalink
    April 25, 2011 10:57 am


    You weren’t invited to the engagement, I doubt you’ll be invited to the wedding. You’d probably stand and shout something like “monster conspiracy” when the vicar asks if anyone here knows of a reason they should not be married.

    Why don’t you hold your own party on the pleasant wetlands of Ashtonvale?


    Wild accusations and exagerations.
    Exhaust fumes and rubbish picked from the gardens of the sleepy suburb.

    Wild fowl and watercress (from ashtonvale)
    Cow pie sourced locally from the pleasant meadows of North Somerset.

    Blackberry and apple pie with fruit sourced again from Ashtonvale as seen by 200 people.
    Cow pudding, obtained by shovel from No,1 field.

    Afterwards guests will be invited to join HarryT, BobS, Deano and others at the Stillwaters of the Sacredspring. Where you will enjoy an evening of lies, bullshit, and exagerated figures, finishing off with a finale of rebel songs.

  2. Paul Bemmy Down permalink
    April 25, 2011 12:14 pm

    Fair play to both, chuckles in equal amounts. Sorry, does “chuckles” make me sound posh? Good, because i am.

  3. Deano permalink
    April 25, 2011 2:19 pm

    Richard Lane says:
    “You say: “The farmers evidence was that field one (the field where the stadium is proposed to be built) was the field most used to plant a grass crop and to graze cows”.
    You have ommitted the part about gathering the crop, which you implied took place but knew it couldn’t because of the uneven surface, that’s why only grazing happens/happened on that field.”

    The Farmer giving evidence (as recorded in the independent inspector’s report para 346 which Lane claims to have read) stated;
    “”The pattern of farming Field 1 remained the same from 1990 to 2008, but the ground investigation works churned it up too much to be suitable for grazing in 2009. The grass was cut for silage in late May or early June and then the cows were turned out to graze.”

    In para 354, the Farmer’s son provides further evidence about the use of Field 1;
    “”The overall pattern of farming Field 1 had been unchanged since 1990, although there was no exact bluepring they followed……in late May or early June a grass silage crop would be taken off the field by [redacted] or an agricultural contractor. The grass would be left to lie for 24 hours before being raked into rows. picked up by a self-propelled forage harvester and blown into trailers being towed by tractors and taken back to the farm.”

    But of course, this must all be wrong because Richard Lane, self-employed builder of Knowle who had never set foot on the land until it became a potential site for the stadium, says that it couldn’t happen because of the uneven surface (which he insists was a result of the landfill site not the investigations in 2008). He says only grazing took place.

    So obviously the Farmer, and the Farmer’s son must be lying. The 20 years plus of annual licences for taking a grass crop – obviously fake. The evidence from both the landowners and the applicants both of which mention a grass crop being regularly gathered in field 1 – obviously they all lied as well. In fact every single individual and/or document that refers to the gathering of a grass crop from field1 are obviously either liars or fake.


    Because Richard Lane says he never tells lies, and Lane says that “only grazing happens/happened on that field.”

  4. April 26, 2011 6:46 pm

    Updated wedding meal

    Town Greens are now off the menu -space shortage due to Club Donuts.

    Replaced by large portion of Sour Grapes

  5. April 26, 2011 10:44 pm

    Don’t worry Paul the posh ones live in upper knowle. Chuckles are allowed.
    Lane’s poor imitation raised barely a titter.
    I’ll give the poor soul 3/10.

  6. harryT permalink
    April 27, 2011 8:17 pm


    Have been away for a while. Has anything happened about Ashton Vale Green ? Its been quiet for some time now.

  7. April 27, 2011 9:08 pm

    Has anything happened about Ashton Vale Green

    yes, the town green is now off the menu as it appears that the talks have broken down. All the fault of the town green folk of course according to the official propaganda machine: here

  8. Richard Lane permalink
    April 28, 2011 6:01 pm


    Congratulations on finding a contradictory statement from the farmers evidence which would seem to make my broad statement about the grazing not completely accurate. I concede, you’ve finally got one thing correct. The fact remains that not all of that field could have had the grass gathered, because of the rough areas which are there for all to see on google earth. In my opinion the harvesting equipment would not have coped with the concrete blocks and other rubbish breaking through the surface in those areas.
    As for never setting foot on that land prior to the stadium application, how on earth can you make yet another wild claim as that?
    I visited that site many times when I was dumping my rubbish there in the eighties.

    It’s a shame that the applicants never made an application for TVG when they were creating the park and ride, the tennis centre or indeed straight after the tip ceased operating, instead of after an application for the stadium went in.

  9. Richard Lane permalink
    April 28, 2011 9:13 pm


    At some point HUMBLE PIE will be added to the menu, I wonder who is going to be eating it?

Comments are closed.