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Mayors vote gets closer for Bristol

April 7, 2012

Can’t decide which way to go?
I accidentally watched the London Mayor candidates facing off on the Paxman show the other night.
Jesus that was painful. Here’s my Easter summary of this incisive debate:

1. Red Ken, past his prime, ex-GLC resurrected saddo still battling Thatcher, two yolks short of a creme egg.
2. Etonian Boris, last Bullingham club supper for this berk. Thick as two short ones…
3. Hard-as-nails ex-MET cop Paddick will call in the calvary to sort the streets of London. Herod has nothing on this lib-dem, also gunning for the gay vote.
4. Barge living Greenie, Jenny Jones. Green hill far away for her but at least shocked Paxo by voting to get stuck in a lift with him.

ALright alright I know its not all about appearance and personalities.
Trouble is we in Bristol have to vote for a mayor (or not), without knowing the candidates or the policies or the powers to be of the new incumbent.

Here’s the latest Mayor of Bristol poll to help you sort out the issues you’ll be voting for.

  1. Paul Bemmy Down permalink
    April 7, 2012 8:38 pm

    I’m going for Blackbeard. Looks like he was born in this fair city of ours. Also good at upsetting those Europeans who have got far to used of telling us what to do for my liking. Perhaps thats the secret. To qualify to be our Mayor, you must have been born here. Better still in South Bristol, where the people still talk “proper”. You need a Mayor who talks proper don’t you think?

  2. April 8, 2012 6:36 am

    Local accent and residency very good for votes.
    Note: Blackbeard hid his loot on offshore islands which is why he was hunted down by customs men and his head brought back on a spike. If he’d returned home with the treasure and handed it over to the royals he’d have been knighted and a statue erected alongside the criminal Colston.

  3. Bobs permalink
    April 8, 2012 4:10 pm

    I heard Blackbeard moved his treasure to Guernsey.

  4. April 9, 2012 9:51 pm

    Blackbeard for mayor it is. The squirreling of treasure away on offshore islands has also been a favourite of the council who buried £8 million groats in Landsbanki Iceland. I’d like to know if the finance director walked the plank. Vote Blackbeard justice for greedy money merchants.

  5. Paul Bemmy Down permalink
    April 10, 2012 10:56 am

    The Pirates are also leaving town for the safe haven that is South Glos. Not that they will profit much, but it’s all in that good cause known as Sainsburys. But all is not lost. After promises of a clampdown on these tax havens, Osbourne has only today realised that the very rich pay very little. Here on the tax haven of Bemmy Down, we’ve known this for years. Politicians never ask the right people do they.

  6. April 10, 2012 7:27 pm

    Mayor Bloomberg at New York in his third term is ‘worth’ $20 billion.
    Vote Blackbeard.

  7. Paul Bemmy Down permalink
    April 13, 2012 6:42 pm

    Just returned from Wales where they claimed Blackbeard was born there. Surely not, but they did offer to lend us their Mayor. Actually, he is their “mock mayor” who is elected annually and whose powers are to make everyone happy. I actually met him in the local pub, and from what I could see, he was doing a very good job.

  8. Richard Lane permalink
    April 13, 2012 10:38 pm

    Blackbeard was indeed born in Wales (Edward Teach) was his name I think.
    Even our most infamous pirate was not Bristolian.
    I think his credentials are fine for a mayor though.

    Aint it shite, we’re supposed to vote for or against a mayor but, what are the options,if we vote no, who would run if we vote yes?
    It’s far to vague to make a decision, other than it’s no good leaving it as it is, unless we are guaranteed that they have an all council vote every four years.

  9. April 14, 2012 9:45 pm

    Don’t give me that Blackbeard was welsh stuff. Meeting him in a welsh pub is coincidental.
    Blackbeard is from Redcliffe, which is not in Wales.

  10. Paul Bemmy Down permalink
    April 15, 2012 11:23 am

    Redcliffe is not in Wales, but neither is Welsh Back. Bristol Rd. Bath is not in Bristol and Bath Rd. Bristol is not in Bath. So perhaps Blackbeard was born in Redcliffe, spent much time in the Llandogger (?) Trow which is in Welsh Back, so the Welsh thought he was one of theirs. Whichever way, he is still my choice, and I hope he continues to go about his good work!

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