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King BRT the Second interred alongside bones of Saint Burys

September 20, 2013

Following the battle of Ashton Vale Fields, the body of the mortally wounded rapid transport system lay undisturbed for 500 years. Then the chance discovery by a dogwalker enjoying an evening stroll in unspoiled green belt led to an astonishing story. Tripping over a fossilised cowpat the intrepid resident saw what looked like a bone protruding from the unspoiled meadow. Was this a sign that something important was buried beneath the council park & ride?
Extensive excavations by professor Baldrick Bonehead and the University of Bristol Faculty of Bonedigging and Trench Warfare discovered the long lost skeleton of the failed rabid transport king.
Matching the DNA from a tiny slice of pre-stressed concrete with the tiny brain of a west of england partner they could at last confirm the final resting place of King Brt II. Using forensic techniques they discovered his budget had been slashed many times and he had suffered rabies since birth. They confirmed that a deformed route led him to nowhere. Haemorrhaging cash, with his treacherous supporters deserting him, it was the end of the road and final resting place.
Bishop Ferguson is now planning a triumphant re-burial in M-shed cathedral. The slab-like faceless concrete sepulchral structure costing £500,000,000 designed by Crest Nicholson is due to be completed in the next year. “The dead king will get a state funeral, subject to judicial review over who’s fault it was, not mine incidentally so eff off” said a red faced Bishop Ferguson.
“I blame Friar Pickles and the other traitorous Yorkists” blustered Abraham of Avonmouth.

  1. September 24, 2013 10:30 am

    reburial costs are very large for someone who hated

  2. September 26, 2013 5:17 pm


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