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‘Half-baked’ Charlotte Leslie tells porkies at PMQ

November 6, 2013

Snailsburys darling baked Charlotte cooked up a panful of lies at the prime ministers cauldron of braying donkeys today. I’m sure I heard her say that a small band of unrepresentative residents were preventing rovers building a new stadium. Call me more stupid than Camorens reply, but I thought a properly representative group of residents were challenging another bent decision by council planners in giving carte blanche to unrepresentative monster supermarkets to destroy local historic high streets?
The silly trolley dolly needs to withdraw her fingers from the monster supermarket self-service cash till. Righteous campaigners are NOT preventing the new stadium..the money men in suits are conning Baked C…they whinge for one reason…they want maximum bonus grubby cash from whatever source and dont give a shit about a gloucester rd meltdown and traditional shop genocide. Fact**They can start on the new stadium tomorrow, they got permission ages ago.
Gotta feel a bit for the hot potato Charlotte. Poor girls moment of parliament glory was nearly shouted down before she got past the first sentence. Was she wearing something revealing that the boozed-up yobs in the house approved?

Pumpkin faced Colin Skelletons Halloween nightmare

October 22, 2013

Jobs monster nightmare

Jobs monster nightmare

The orange man, head gob of the tiny brained Incest of England partnership has been on the absinthe again. He’s off on one blathering about the billions of jobs to be created by a new link road to nowhere. And how the ozone depleting permanent traffic chaos will ‘open up’ the green belt to development, presumably by chaps like John Butlin who’ve been grabbing the land with zionistic glee readying for the payday.
I heard that Skeleton was a bit quiet on the Temple Quarter jobs debate. He promises a few thousand jobs there as well but when challenged by existing companies who have employed people for years like the wood recycling project and the Severn Project er..well they’re not the real kind of jobs he means.
Those social enterprise type companies will be cleared out as there’s no room for lepers and plebs who create work at the grass root coal face when there’s virgin development land candy up for grabs. Get ready for the goldrush as Skeletons mates go in a building frenzy of glass office blocks and make a killing. Bye bye social enterprises, you are not worthy of the great orange Halloween man.

So how did this expert on jobs get where he is now, in top paid fatcat jobs? Not fair to rake up the past but..ok here goes.
He got rich on water. Stuff that falls out of sky. Where there’s water there’s brass. The poor guy got raided by the Bill years ago for an apparently dodgy deal in flogging our water company to the Far East. Was cleared of wrongdoing I think as he convinced the beak that he really earned the cash amounting to over a million with advisor/ consultant type work. Not bad earnings for a couple of minutes on the phone or whatever.
I love Halloween and Colin Skeleton. Hope he knocks on my door, he’ll get a treat.

Mental monster supermarkets

September 26, 2013
Crazy mental hypermarket zombies

Crazy mental hypermarket zombies

Monster supermarkets have complained that they are being depicted as crazy and mental by normal Bristol residents. They say that phrases like “The Butcher of Bedminster” and “The Cheltenham Rd Chainsaw Massacre” are not accurate descriptions of them or their businesses.
Spokesman Boris Karloff Abraham spoke about them as cosy community loving cuddly philanthropists, not bloodsucking vultures. “If I hear anymore of this nonsense from they local resident nutters I’ll have them carted off by cannibal meat counter colleagues faster than you can say Barrow Gurney. The public love us and our underhand methods of wiping out high streets, just ask any of the thousands of zombies who get used by us every day”.
Meanwhile in a gloomy sanatorium on a rainswept island, Stephen ‘King’ Loons-down is contemplating The Fog of Ashton Vale Meadows.
The dreams of a 40,000 capacity mausoleum of the undead has had a stake driven below the green belt, marked Town and Village Green.
“We’re all stark staring bonkers” he howled.

King BRT the Second interred alongside bones of Saint Burys

September 20, 2013

Following the battle of Ashton Vale Fields, the body of the mortally wounded rapid transport system lay undisturbed for 500 years. Then the chance discovery by a dogwalker enjoying an evening stroll in unspoiled green belt led to an astonishing story. Tripping over a fossilised cowpat the intrepid resident saw what looked like a bone protruding from the unspoiled meadow. Was this a sign that something important was buried beneath the council park & ride?
Extensive excavations by professor Baldrick Bonehead and the University of Bristol Faculty of Bonedigging and Trench Warfare discovered the long lost skeleton of the failed rabid transport king.
Matching the DNA from a tiny slice of pre-stressed concrete with the tiny brain of a west of england partner they could at last confirm the final resting place of King Brt II. Using forensic techniques they discovered his budget had been slashed many times and he had suffered rabies since birth. They confirmed that a deformed route led him to nowhere. Haemorrhaging cash, with his treacherous supporters deserting him, it was the end of the road and final resting place.
Bishop Ferguson is now planning a triumphant re-burial in M-shed cathedral. The slab-like faceless concrete sepulchral structure costing £500,000,000 designed by Crest Nicholson is due to be completed in the next year. “The dead king will get a state funeral, subject to judicial review over who’s fault it was, not mine incidentally so eff off” said a red faced Bishop Ferguson.
“I blame Friar Pickles and the other traitorous Yorkists” blustered Abraham of Avonmouth.

Fed-up Abrahams hijacks well-fed Pickles

September 14, 2013

My dabble in Brevity being the soul of wit may have been just that. The champion of democracy ‘whinger’Abrahams has blasted his trumpet in the Toasted Post, a veritable horn of Jehrico aimed squarely at the judicial system. More of a whimper in reality. Abrahams assertions require immediate Trashing.

Peter Abrahams has an issue with judicial reviews it would seem.
Judicial reviews about green belt and TVG.
Judicial reviews about proper process of local councils.
Judicial reviews about Monster crazy hypermarkets?
Maybe..certainly judicial reviews about dodgy decisions by local council Public Rights of Way committees, the ones chaired by um… Abrahams? They are the worst kind of judicial reviews.

I don’t know why his obsession with local democracy is so wrapped up in monster supermarkets whose sole aim is to Hoover up and destroy local shopping streets. There’s not a lot of goodwill from these multinational dinosaurs towards local democracy. Why else would they force through these massive developments on the back of a spurious enabling argument that cash strapped football clubs can only build new stadia if the monster hypermarket gets built?

Abrahams you need a reality check. Go tell Pickles that you are fed up with monster supermarkets circumventing local planning laws. Tell the Tory giant that you’re fed to the back teeth with billionaire developers unfairly getting permission to concrete the green belt. And have a good old bellyache about the bonkers BRT2 metrobendybus destroying safe public rights of way and the City heritage.

Seems like the grandiose pontificating from the failed mayoral candidate is more sour than grapes. The Jericho blast is but a failed whimper from the rams horn. The gates are not about to fall.

Bungling half-baked billionaires beaten by Bedminster’s best

September 6, 2013

Evil Monster Tesno billionaires…
Crazy Monster billionaire Stainsburies…
Befuddled billionaire Lansdown…
Blatter’s world cup blow-dried billionaires.

The roll call of victims engraved on the mausoleum of failed

BRT2 ARMAGEDDON-South Bristol destruction derby nodded through.

July 15, 2013
Brt2 monster destruction pedestrians and cyclists under threat

BRT2 monster on route to devour pedestrians and cyclists

The nightmare of the monster sainsburies is becoming a distant memory. Grandchildren are seated round enthralled at the dark satanic tales of the orange monster and the poisoned air, the death of the high st.,the belching traffic, the green belt of destruction. The pork pies.
Then… the humble folk took to the streets, stood their ground to defend their neighbourhood against the odds and sent the monster packing (so far). What a story of David vs Goliath.

But That’s not the ending of the story.
The ending is this….a new worse monster
The revenge Monster….planned by berks in suits paid megabucks to draw a line on map for a concrete guided megabus. How can this happen unless the lunatics have taken over the asylum ?
You guessed it, someone really hates south Bristol. This is revenge on a massive scale. A monster concrete bus highway that will destroy the only safe vehicle free route from Somerset and all of Greater Bedminster to Bristol city centre. That’s true for the reverse and like the sacred Bristol Bath cycleway it should be enshrined in law as untouchable by the monster transport vultures.
These ridiculous concrete guided bendy buses should be sent along the normal road system which is already a no go deathtrap for pedestrians.
But oh no that’s too obvious to the suits, so they choose to destroy a safe footpath network used by thousands. The traffic free Ashton avenue bridge will become a belching death trap if the BRT2 monster goes ahead. One bus every minute will kill this bottleneck dead for the cyclist and pedestrians. There will be death and injury. Blood on the hands of the crazy nutters that are driving this Bonkers Rabid Transport Monster.

The elected councillors have proved to once again be impotent and caved in to the filthy lucre offered by the bent government and business vultures. Even the new mayor has caved in despite saving the precious harbourside from a BRT2 nuking.
Can’t just blame the poor old mayor, but he must be lacking in the trouser department when it appears all the city wants BRT2 ditched yet the only thing that gets the well deserved fuck off treatment is a spotty student.

I have fallen asleep.
I have woken up.
The lunatics are once again running the asylum.

BRT2 monster Bristol destruction

The BRT2 that couldn’t die.